Tips for Toilet Training

Let's begin by removing some misconceptions related to toilet training. Many parents seem to consider potty training as a criterion to judge their child's brightness and their own smartness. Nothing can be farther than the truth. If you try to potty train your child before he/she is ready for it, you will be a nervous wreck, and you will traumatize your child.

There is a time for everything in nature. The less you tamper with it the better it is for you and your child. Your child will be ready for it one day and then the whole process will be more natural, much easier, and less stressful. Don't compare your child with the neighbor's child. It proves nothing.

Parents should never compare children because every child is different. Not many toddlers are genuinely toilet trained before the age of 20 months. The girls start at around the age of two and boys around the age of three. Almost all children are toilet trained by the age of 4. Some continue with bedwetting till the age of 5. This should put you at ease. You have no need to be in a hurry to toilet train your little toddler. If you force it before he is ready, there will be problems like soiling that can continue for many years into the future.

Nevertheless, you have to make an effort to prepare your child for the great Potty Training Experience. Here are some tips to know when he or she is ready to start and how to go about it.

1. Before you start with potty training, it is important for your child to be familiar with the body parts, their functions, and the names you use as a family. Every family has its own names. So, it really doesn't matter what names you give as long as everyone knows what they mean.

2. Allow her to witness you or other family member (preferably same sex) using the toilet. No it won't traumatize her - unless you make a big thing of it. Just be natural and she will consider it natural as well. Talk about it as a grown-up thing to do - that one day, when she is ready, she too will be able to use a potty and then the big peoples toilet. This instills a sense of anticipation and desire as all toddlers want to do the things that grown-ups do. Letting her flush the toilet also gets her used to the whole process.

3. As the time approaches for starting the toilet training, get the potty out and leave it in a visible place. Make sure she knows what it is, and what it is for but, again, talk in terms of "one day you will be able to use this".

How to know when your child is ready for toilet training? Watch out for the following signs:

1. Can she tell you when she is wet or dirty? You can help with this by asking her or pointing out to her immediately after she urinated or had a bowel movement. Whether your spot it, or she tells you, change her diaper as soon as possible. You want to reinforce the idea that being clean and dry is more comfortable than being wet and dirty. If she comes and tells you that she needs a diaper change, offer lots of praise and do it straight away.

2. In the beginning, children find it difficult to physically manage the potty. They are not steady and might fall off. Also, they don't get enough warning so there may be some accidents leading to frustration with getting to the bathroom and getting clothes off. If this is happening too often, it is better to wait another month or two.

3. Your child will take some time to follow directions and instructions. He will have to be taught how to take a piece of tissue and throw it into the toilet. Do that first.

4. Are there signs of developing bowel and bladder control? For example, are the bowel motions settling into a clear pattern such as twice a day after meals? Are stools firm and well formed? Is she able to stay dry for several hours at a time? If not, she may not be able to contain herself long enough to get to the bathroom. On the other hand, also make sure that she is not straining or experiencing pain on passing a motion as that can lead to deliberate witholding and a whole host of problems that can become very intractable and long term. She may need a change of diet to make the stool softer and easier to pass.

5. Above all, give a positive feeling about toilet to your child. He should look forward to the day when he can use a toilet like a grown up. It all depends on the preparatory work you have done. Some children have fears about flushing water etc, which will have to be addressed before starting the toilet training. You will need to make your child familiar with the toilet and let him practice sitting on the potty with clothes on. This will reassure him that he won't disappear and get flushed away like the potty does.

If you have done your preparatory work well, you will not have much difficulty in toilet training your little toddler. Remember to praise success, but there should be no punishments for failures.

Good luck!

Tired of your toddler's behavior problems? For more help on solving children's behaviors and for help with How to Stop Temper Tantrums vist Dr. Noel Swanson's website, and check out his hugely popular manual, The GOOD CHILD Guide.

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Tips for Toilet Training
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