The 'away' Perspective: Persuasion Continuum Of Towards And Away

First, a distinction. When I teach about 'towards and away' personalities, I get asked, 'Kenrick, isn't an away from person just a negative person?' My answer is no. That's not the case at all. There are negative people in the world who will complain about anything, but someone who is moving away from a problem does not necessarily have a negative attitude in life.

'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' It's one of those things adults say to kids all the time. But I'm of the opinion that not everything has to be nice. Putting a happy face on each and every disappointment, not allowing for the lows in life, takes away from the complexity of experience. I'm not suggesting to not have a good attitude when bad things happen, but life is made up of ups and downs and to deny the downs, cuts us off from feeling how good the ups can feel with something to contrast it to.

Conversely, I don't like to be around people who constantly complain and view the world through the distorted lens of their inconvenience and misery. That kind of vibration, on a sustained basis, will bring your energy down guaranteed.

To me, whether a person is positive or negative is less important than honesty. However, I'm much more interested in being around people who know that their thoughts are manifesting their reality thus tend to attract positive folks.

Back to the 'towards/away' continuum. . . Like all of these continuums, they are context specific. Someone can be towards when it comes to relationships and away when it comes to finances.

Say you've elicited your client or prospect's highest criteria and it turns out to be security. And you say, 'So ultimately, what will having security do for you?'

Security is both a towards and away value. Listen very closely to how they answer this question because this is a subtle one.

'Financial security will mean that I'm finally safe. I won't have to worry about my investments, I won't have to worry about my family, I'll be able to retire when I want.'

Well. . .this is fairly easy to figure out, isn't it? Is this person move towards something or away from a problem?

Well, that's pretty obvious. They're definitely trying to move away from the problem.

I call the technique which is most effective with away from people 'backing the ambulance up to the door'. In this approach you are poking at wounds, really helping them wallow in their fear and then marrying your product or service with the path to financial security.

A perfect response would be: "Absolutely. That's completely understandable. Really, the stock market isn't doing very well. It's downright terrifying. People don't have any idea how devastating it's going to be when that thing crashes. Not having a safety net, no parachute. .. it is cause for worry. I'm moving beyond that fear with my clients and they are naturally safe and secure as a result of their work with me.'

Determination of towards/away is a really powerful tool enriching rapport immeasurably. Never try to force the away oriented person to see the silver lining or look through rose colored glasses. Go along with them and help them bask in the fear and horror that you can eventually relieve them of.

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

Title:
The 'away' Perspective: Persuasion Continuum Of Towards And Away
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