Taxes - Laughing When You Should Cry

If you can't laugh at yourself, you really are in trouble. Well, does the same thing apply to the IRS? Although not known for its sense of humor, there are no reports of the agency auditing the following people for saying these humorous things.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct. - Fran Lebowitz

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O'Brien

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something. - Doug Horton

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: In the beginning there's a lot of screaming and in the end you lose your house.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. - Art Buchwald

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form. - Laurence J. Peter

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so. - Billy Joel

I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes. - Mick Jagger

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf. - Will Rogers

If we don't do something to simplify the tax system, we're going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta

Barry Waxler is a financial advisor with UFCAmerica.com.

Title:
Taxes - Laughing When You Should Cry
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